backtomyheydays

Halfway through the week..

So that means NO candy, goldfish crackers, or other ‘kid snacks’ today…

I can do it..  (?)

off to take the pup on a snowy walk..

Yup you heard it right, my boss, the mother of the children that I nanny for, bought me a new pair of boots. It snowed here last night and I came to work in rainboots because I couldn’t find my old crappy winter boots. She laughed and bought me a pair of $90 boots that look like rainboots on the outside but are thermal inside. (Can keep your feet warm in up to -30 degree weather) I told her it was unnecessary and she said “Playing with my kids outside in the snow is part of the job, and I don’t want you to freeze your toes off, so buying my nanny boots are just part of the gig” WOw. I’m pretty lucky.

So I haven’t been updating a lot because I’ve been working like crazy. She’s due with her 4th child Jan18th so she is getting tired now, and trying to slow it down because she is already feeling contractions. (!) So I’ve been staying later and doing more around the house- But I can’t complain because even if I had a college degree I wouldn’t be making as much as I am right now.

So here’s what I ate today (I ate like crap…) :

Breakfast: Kefir and baby carrots

Lunch: PB&J on whole wheat, some goldfish crackers, and a hot chocolate with fat free milk

Snack: some guacamole and chips

Dinner: Whole grain pita with some tomato sauce, very little mozzerella cheese, with fresh garlic and spinach

Desert: 100Grand Candy Bar

Grr.. I was planning on doing so well and then, bam. . . . all downhill. . . . grrr..

Hopefully tomorrow will be better..

We stayed maybe 30minutes because of time restraints, but it’s a start, right?

Food yesterday:

Breakfast:Kefir, 1cup of bluberries/raspberries

Lunch: PB&J, some fritos, and some baby carrots

Snack: Some popcorn

Dinner: small whole grain pita pizza (Whole grain pita,tomato sauce, light cheese, and a lot of spinach)

Today will go just as good,  if not better! ; ) I think I am slowly geting back in the game.

Okay girls so I was feeling awful about gaining and at being my highest weight of 142, remember? Well. that was exactly 2 weeks ago.. weighed myself this morning and I am down 5pounds! I am now 137. : ) 

I’ve been doing a lot of reading, and daydreaming about when I used to be able to bench more than my weight as motivation. I also just finished “The Kind Diet” by Alicia Silverstone. Its based on a vegan/macrobiatic diet, but has a LOT of great information and recipes for just vegetarians.

By the way, my first vegetarian thanksgiving was great. I had a PB sandwich on whole wheat for brunch to make sure I got enough protein and then pretty much had a ton of carbs for Thanksgiving Meal; Rolls, mashed potatoes, pasta salad, fruit jello (even though jello is usually a non vegetarian food- gelatin is made from hooves and cartilage) I also had a pumpkin bar that my sister in law made from pumpkin purree… yuum. I only drank water and one glass of spiked punch.

So now I feel like I am on the right path, ladies. Only 17-22 more pounds… depending on how I look and feel. : )

Here we go!

Just got back from my anual physical/pap exam. My doc is super strict on seeing her every year or she will refuse to renew your birth control, so I went today even though I’m not due until January. It’s hard to fit the doc in between holiday craziness so I thought I may as well get it over with…

So I went in and she viewed my chart. Mentioned something about my weight. I think I said “Yup, gained last time you saw me, and gained even more this time..” she asked if I thought it was from my birth control and I asked her “Could it be?” and she said “Nope, you have the lowest estrogen pill out there. It’s almost 99% unlikely that it’s the cause.” I laughed [then why would you ask?]. I told her that I went vegetarian and I lost weight and then gained some back. She continued with her routine questions and then got to “How often do you exercise?” I laughed again. “Not as often as I used to..okay not much anymore.” She didn’t bother me about it, or pester me, or scold me. She just went on with the exam.

Afterwards she said; “You know, if you were taller, your weight would be totally normal.” [Oh gee, thanks..] then she handed me a perscription with an information chart at the bottom titled: “Cardiovascular Risk Factors”

Listed is sugested ideal situations to promote healthy heart for family history patients… No smoking, (check), LDL HDL Levels (check), blood pressure (check), low stress- good sleep, yoga, blanace, laughter (super check), and at the bottom it says “Maintain ideal weight- Women = 105lbs + 5lbs per inch over 5′.

So 115 is my ideal weight according to risk factors for cardiovascular patients. And 112 was my ‘feel my best’ weight. But right now I am 139lbs according to the doc. 24lbs over my ideal weight. And she didnt have the guts to say anything? Just hand me a packet and hope I get the hint? Jeez…

I ate eh today so far:

Breakfast: Glass of kefir

Snack: popcorn

Lunch: 1/2 A PB&J on whole wheat with baby carrots and some chips

Snack: Glass of oj and 100cals of doritos… (why? I didn’t need it)

For dinner I have no idea what I am going to do, I’m not in the mood for anything that we have in the house but after that $258 doc visit I can’t afford to get something out. (I don’t have health insurance.) So I must go digging through the fridge to find something that will satisfy me. grrr..

Hello all… so last update was super short. Since then I have lost 2.5pounds, but still higher then I have ever been. Today I get to go to the doc and get my yearly pap… fun fun fun…

I just know the doctor is going to freak out because last year I had gained about 10 pounds and she was like “What happened?! You used to be so fit and healthy” and now this year she is going to really rip me a new one. I have told you all a million times about my dad and his side of the family and their heart issues, and she will totally give it to me- which is a good thing. I’m interested to see her reaction with the whole vegetarian thing. Last year she sugested to eat less meat, and full fat dairy. I am eating less meat, and I only eat fat free dairy, but I should cut it down.

I think my weight gain has solely to do with cheese. No joke. I think I eat cheese with every meal. Yesterday I had a glass of oj and 2 cheese rice cakes. Lunch, 1 slice of leftover pizza and some fruit, and dinner? no joke, a small side of mashed potatos (just potatos with skin, soymilk, pepper, oregeno, and basil) with 1 tablespoon of mexican cheese on top with a slice of whole wheat garlic toast. Doesnt sound like a lot of food but the pizza was foccacia, had tons of cheese (that I was trying to rip off), and I dont even like cheese on my mashed potatoes, I just did it because my honey did it. Grr… Today- I’m going to see if I can have a day a of no cheese… SERIOUSLY.

I have been going through my clothes because I have to box up at least 1/2 of what I own and put it away- not because of the season, but because I can’t fit in any of it anymore. It’s getting serious. I need to stop gaining. I need to start losing MORE. I can’t believe myself. Feb will be on year on buddyslim. I have lost and gained like crazy since then.

So my poor pup is down to 1 steroid every other day finally… so why am I not taking him for a walk every morning anymore? I still have a gym membership, why am I not using it? I have a ton of healthy food in the fridge why am I not eating it?.. because I am depressed with where I am at and I guess subconsciously not ready to change it. :sigh:…

But I am ready to change it..

Today’s Plan:

Breakfast: glass of kefir (I’m not hungry but I need to get something in my body)

Lunch: Salad, strawberries and some super food smoothie

Dinner: Veggie sandwich with an an apple.

How I have missed you all..;

My computer is STILL broke, but I found time today to sneak onto a different computer. Here are some quick updates:

I have gained 4pounds and am now at my heaviest at 142pounds. (My healthiest, strongest weight was 108lbs when I did lifting and running competitions and ALWAYS ate healthy so imagine how I feel 34pounds heavier)

My hunnie and I fixed everything after 6hours of not talking, but we are still a little broken.. I feel like he is starting to love me less and less… which he says isnt the case, but I can feel it. .

I almost got a puppy yesterday for Cody to have a buddy. But I have to wait until I move out of here and find a bigger place.

I am 90% done with my Christmas shopping (I’m crazy, I know) and am looking forward to finally spending a Christmas season with my Frankie… this is the first time since I met him that he will not be in a show, rehearsing every single night so we can finally do christmas season things that NORMAL couples do, especially because we live in Chicago where there are a TON of things to do..

I don’t know what to do with myself.

I have officially been a vegetarian for 3months now and I still love it. I don’t even crave burgers or turkey or anything. And my sister in law is also vegetarian (has been her whole life) so thanksgiving wont be that strange at all! I’m looking forward to mashed potatoes, buns, salad/veggies, and a pasta salad made by me! ; )

I’m bringing my computer to my fathers house today (he works with computers) and I hope he can fix it so I can get back to updating every day and reading all about everyone else…

But guys, seriously, 142 may not be awful for some that have much larger goals, but this is VERY unproportional to my petite, 5′2 frame and tiny features. I need to fix this…

Sick.

Frustrated.

Feeling Fat.

Computer completely dead. Died about 6days ago. Using someone elses for this second.

Made boyfriend leave. He made a huge mistake. Tried to turn it around on me. It’s been 2hours. Don’t care if he doesn’t come back. He probably won’t.

Trust me on this one.

Even if he does.. don’t know if I can forgive him.

This may be the end of our 3 year relationship. He will move out and I WILL keep Cody pup.

Ladies, I haven’t had much time to post because I have been BUSY this week.. Im having allergy and sinus issues this week, so I have been trying to get to bed early, and rest a lot. I am also doing a TON of redecorating! We knocked the wall down to make out living room bigger last weekend and this weekend we are fixing up the walls, painting our dining room, painting our bedroom, and hopefully starting to paint the room where the wall got knocked down.. Lots to do in our place. ; )

Food this weekend could have been better, but I am not budging on the scale….seriously. Not even by 1/2 a lb. I think it’s been 2 or 3 weeks now..

Well this upcoming week will be another crazy one, but hopefully I will have time to ACTUALLY update… until then!

Hey guys I’m still here, I promise. Don’t have a lot of time to write, but here are the top points of the past few days:

 -Knocked down a wall w/Frankie to make a larger living room.. now we have a ton of ’spackaling’ , painting, and rearranging furniture to do.

-…Which means I get to re-decorate!!! (Love it!)

-Ate pretty awful yesterday.

-..but did a ton of heavy lifting, kicking, punching, pulling, and ripping while getting that wall down and moving furniture.

-We have no food in our house! HAVE to go shopping so I can SEE healthy choices.

Thats about it! I’ll update in more detail later.. going to read some blogs!